it”s not easy to have a great relationship with your boy/girlfriend, partner, or spouse. but it”s not impossible, either — it takes some work, of course, but it”s work, work that”s a joy when everything comes together.
a lot of times, though, the work isn”t enough. we get in our own way with ideas and attitudes about relationships that are not only wrong, but often work to undermine our relationships no matter how hard we work at it.
i”ve watched a lot of breakups (some of them my own). i”ve seen dramatic flare-ups and drawn-out slow fades, and i”ve tried to pay attention to what seems to be going on. here are a few of the things i”ve seen that cause people to destroy their own relationships.
1. you”re playing to win
one of the deadliest killers of relationships is the competitive urge. i don”t mean competition in the sense that you can”t stand to lose at tennis, i mean the attitude that the rela
