申请美国教育学博士（Statement of Purpose）文书批改。整篇文章看下来，教研内容过于细节，但又缺乏个人的深入看法及见解。建议在某些地方适当增添一些自己对这个行业，对这门PHD的主观见解。虽然文章有做相应的阐述，但比较泛泛而谈。另外，文章略显啰嗦，读起来不够流畅，需要做进一步调整。
原文：
Statement of Purpose
To Whom It May Concern.
This is AA and below please find my statement of purpose
"How was your day today?", whenever I get asked this question daily, I will always think about how well my students learn and behave on that day before I answer this question, for it is the most important factor that affects my life, not to exaggerate. I have committed to the profession of teaching ever since I was five years old. I like the feeling of teaching. I love little kids. And I hope I can do more for them.
After I graduated from the Ningbo university in 2006. Then,（注意增加过渡语句，使连贯）I started my teaching career in AA Elementary school which is also the best school in Ningbo J
