个人陈述批改：申请供应链管理硕士专业。TPO小站综合点评及修改意见：总的来说，这篇PS的结构还是OK的，不够有些地方的处理不够好。比如，第一段的开头，虽然很开门见山，但略显突兀，建议添加一两句讲讲对供应链的兴趣是怎么产生的，然后引出要申请的专业。另外，很重要的一点就是对于学习部分的内容介绍过短。作为在校学生，学习是首位的，对于在校的学习要做补充。
原文：
Personal Statement
applicant: XXX
My purpose in applying for the MS in Supply Chain Management at Olin Business School, is to capitalize on knowledge and ability of practice in supply chain management, which initially provoked my interest in the course operation management. "Operation management" presented a framework of companies' operation and gradually I found supply chain management attract me most and is an area full of potential. Due to the development of China's economy and diversification of people's needs, express and logistic companies emerged in large numbers suddenly in recent years. How
