Several years ago, while attending a communications course, I experienced a most unusual process. The instructor1 asked us to list anything in our past that we felt ashamed of, guilty about, regretted, or incomplete about. The next week he invited participants to read their lists aloud. This seemed like a very private process, but there's always some brave soul in the crowd who will volunteer. As people read their lists, mine grew longer. After three weeks, I had 101 items on my list. The instructor then suggested that we find ways to make amends2, apologize to people, or take some action to right any wrongdoing. I was seriously wondering how this could ever improve my communications, having visions of alienating3 just about everyone from my life.
The next week, the man next to me raised his hand and volunteered this story:
"While making my list, I remembered an inciden
