
Last Saturday afternoon, I went to the supermarket with my mom. When we were walking near the toy area, I heard a small cry. I turned around and saw a little girl sitting on the floor, wiping her tears. 易优语文培训,(TeL:181-1815-9898)苏州阅读写作同步提升
I walked over to her and asked gently, “Little sister, why are you crying?” She looked up at me—she was about 4 years old, with big eyes full of tears. She said, “I… I can’t find my mom.” I sat down next to her and patted her shoulder, saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll help you find your mom.” My mom also came over and smiled at her, telling her not to be afraid.
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First, we asked her what her mom looked like. She said her mom had long hair and wore a red coat. Then we took her to the supermarket’s customer service desk. The staff at the desk used the loudspeaker to announce: “A little girl is waiting at the customer service desk. Her mom has long hair and wears a red coat. Please come here quickly.” 易优语文题库,同步教材,真题演练,提分就是快 https://cs.euzW.net
We waited with the little girl. She was still a little scared, so I took out my small toy rabbit from my bag and gave it to her. She held the rabbit and stopped crying. After about 10 minutes, a woman ran to the desk—she had long hair and a red coat! The little girl shouted “Mom!” and ran to her. The woman hugged her daughter tightly, looking very worried and then relieved. 语文提分好帮手,易优语文题库 https://cs.euzW.net
The woman thanked us many times, and I felt very happy. Helping others makes me feel good. I think we should always be kind to people in need.
作文点评:
标题明确 “帮助迷路小女孩”,主题积极向上。内容按 “发现女孩 — 询问安慰 — 求助客服 — 母女团聚 — 感悟” 展开,情节完整,“First, Then” 等过渡词清晰串联帮助过程。细节如 “递玩具兔”“妈妈的外貌特征” 真实合理,体现作者的细心与善良。情感上,通过 “happy”“good” 表达助人后的成就感,升华 “善良” 主题。缺点是 “等待过程” 可加更多互动,如和女孩聊天。改进建议:在等待段落加 “我和女孩聊她喜欢的玩具,她告诉我她最喜欢小兔子,这让她更放松了”,丰富情节。(180 字)
